In the shadow of Greatness
by VenusJay
Summary: In shackles, muzzled like a common hound, trusting the hand that leads me to be punished. They have chained me all my life and now I have tasted carnage; embodied chaos. I see now what it is to be free and they do not see that it is impossible to put chains on a shadow.
1. Chapter 1

Loki

Things were not as they should be. On my hands and knees before these self-titled heroes, I stitch a remorseful expression somewhere into my usual grin. No, if things had gone entirely to plan, I would be looking down into their pitiful eyes as they begged for mercy. All good things in their time, I suppose. For now, they had won. I had been sufficiently avenged.

I can't say I really blame Thor. Yes, we have known each other for an eternity but he is rather slow, you see. And he could be forgiven for not knowing his own brother enough to suspect that my guilty gestures of supplication were not entirely from the heart. I have always prided myself on my deceptions and this, my friend, had been my most deceitful yet.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now." Come now, just because I'm beaten doesn't mean I'm broken. I admit, I did wince at the tight grip Thor took of my arm as I was unceremoniously raised from the floor. Ironically, they seemed to think I was joking about the drink. Some strong mead would have made this humiliation more bearable. Or at least, more palatable.

"Brother, I know you're angry with me now but you'll-"

"Silence Loki," Odin said. No, Thor said. I must be whoozy. I reminded him that it was he who started all of this.

"Ow," I pulled away as his grip tightened to a vice-hold. "I'm sorry," I mumbled when he looked at me with hatred. I took to walking beside him as an obedient hound then, pliant and subdued. I know what he is doing. This is a walk of shame. I can't help but look at the corpses we pass on our way to wherever we are going. Thor seemed to approve of my silence, perhaps he mistakes it for horror. I could use that. Oh yes, now that it occurs to me, that might be clever. Chaotic even.

One after another, some glassy eyed, some in separate pieces. Thor had always had a taste for this bloodshed and now I'm considered the crazy one. Typical. I glance back at a man who's face has been smashed in on one side, the other with not even a scratch. Natasha looks at him too. Our eyes meet and she seems to be questioning me. 'Well I definitely didn't do that one,' the words barely stay in my mouth but the suppressed laugh comes in the form of a chocked sigh. From the right angle it could even be a sob. By her expression the angle was just right. This will be easy.

"Where are we going?"

"Shut it Reindeer Games."

I take a moment to picture the expression I need and then match it. Sufficiently panicked.

"Thor. Please, where are you taking me?"

He's being stoic again. This will take something more so I thrash and I scream and I pull away. It's exhilarating to feel his raw strength as he wrestles me to the ground.

"Don't send me back there," I sob as I clutch at him, my pride non-existent. "Have mercy, brother." I feel their contempt for me oozing from them but I know Thor. His features soften. I am winning.

"You will return to Asgard to be punished for your crimes."

"Asgard," I whisper with mock relief. "Yes. Asgard." He doesn't have to haul me up this time. I'm almost ready to race him there. But I must keep them guessing. They must believe they have discovered a secret. "We'll go to Asgard and mother and father will be there. You would never send me to...to," I tail off with a look of wild horror that, strangely enough, isn't hard to conjure up.

"What's he on about," I hear the weak one ask. They do not know. Thor knows. I see it in the way his eyebrows knit together. Yes, when you let go of me. You remember. How could you forget?

We continue our funeral march through the streets and I am jolted from my planning when Thor takes hold of me. Facing me, he binds my wrists and I almost roll my eyes. I imagine it looks like I am averting his gaze through shame. Good.

"That stops his magic," the virtuous one asks. Oh dear. I want to curse him as Thor sighs. It is hard to be still when my brother instructs one of his party to hold my jaw while he works.

"Woah there buddy, I'm not putting a finger near that thing!"

I rather think I wouldn't desire to be anywhere near any one of their fingers. Yet I stand, solemn and repenting as gentle hands cup my face. It is strange. Her soft touch is not as firm as my mother's. It is comforting and I blink in surprise. I mean, I pretend to blink in surprise. Mock surprise. I can't help but look at her and imagine what the Lady Sif would make of a warrior like this.

She keeps her eyes on me as Thor locks the contraption onto my mouth. It is uncomfortable and effective. I doubt I could talk my way out of this one though I'm not against trying. As she stares at me I think of the body again.I feel bad but I can't place why. Looking at her becomes unbearable so I opt to stare at the ground that opens onto the soft grass. There is much to consider before being pulled through the Bifrost. There are people here and the Avengers are in their element. Now I have no desire for anything other than sleep so my thoughts of fratricide will have to be delayed.

Thor holds the device in his hands and offers me the other side. It hums under my fingertips but Thor could not know that. I take it and we rip through matter to the Bifrost bridge. I doubt he realises it will not work without me. It is me. And this is home. Ah, sweet home. I was beginning to miss Heimdall.


	2. Chapter 2

Asgard is the way I remember it. People glare and hiss as I pass. The familiarity is comforting in a way. I don't believe it was ever this hostile though. Am I misremembering? No, the cold feelings within me are too well known to me to be unfounded. This walk of shame is different though. For one, there are less corpses. No corpses in fact but that could be fixed soon enough. Secondly, on Midgard I was to be feared and a force to be reckoned with. Here, I am but an insolent pup who snapped too hard and has been left outside in the cold. But I like the cold. Jotuns are built for such things.

At last we have reached the Throne Room. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle of Thor's lolliping gait. The cadence of it was beginning to drive me mad. I know what you're thinking. And no, I'm not mad. He has a sorrowful expression and I hate that it pains me. Thor has been the sickeningly glowing ray that I adored. Every breath he took I tried to take the same air just to have something that he did. No, he's not my brother. Not my brother. Betrayal.

"Loki."

Mother. No, not mother. Remember the betrayal. She lied to you, always lied. She looks beautiful though, regal. The Lady Sif has always been pretty but I know my mother has beauty beyond compare. She smiles at me even now as I am made kneel. So this is what it took to have you look at me. Well, she always did. What with the magic and her stories. Thor never appreciated stories unless people were being bashed on the head. Unless they were his stories about bashing me on the head. But she lied. She did. She could have told me that I am no monster. I hate her. I look away.

"Loki Odinson."

Eugh, of course he chooses Odinson. If it weren't for this muzzle I would savour the sound of Laufeyson as it rolled from my tastebuds. But then I killed Laufey. Not the best father and son bond. I imagine for a long moment the icy feel of the throne beneath my hands as I return to claim my birthright. Would it be satisfying? I'm starting to become unsure. But obviously it's not up to me. Oh dear, Odin was saying something and now he's looking at me expectantly.

"Do you understand the terms of your trial?"

I shrug in my head but my head translates it to a solemn bow. He knows I am mocking him. His eyes glint the way Thor wishes his own would and I know I have irked him. Well, irked perhaps isn't the right word. Perhaps miffed or tickled. This muzzle arrangement is starting to become wearing so I go along with the guards as they bring me deep down into the depths of boredom and leave me there. Thor stands on the other side of the glass and watches me in my temporary hold. How irksome. No, not irksome, perhaps enraging? I want him to look at me with contempt and loathing and spite and apathy and rage and distaste and venom. Then at least we would have some things in common. Instead he looks as me with compassion that he never would have bloody had if it hadn't been for his banishment.

The little fly places his hands against the glass and the spark within me ignites the chaos. I reach out, hesistant. Oh so tentative. Our fingers align through this barrier and Thor tilts his head, sad eyes contemplating me. I furrow my brow, just so. I rest my forehead to the glass and sigh heavily through the muzzle that they left me in. Truly I'm feeling quite sorry for myself.

"Oh Loki. Why are you doing this?"

Breathing? Leaning? What am I doing that's so awful that I haven't done worse in the last few hours. I start to think Thor's been in a story where his head was bashed in. I look at him with big, doe-eyed confusion. It strains the muscles in my cheek around this device but the effect is worth it. I see a tear fall down the idiots cheek.

"Even now, you deceive. You pretend. You trick and you lie and I know you think we do the same but I swear to you, brother, I will do all I can to save you from this madness. Someday I will find the real you. The good I know to be in you."

Then he leaves. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. NO! That imbecile, vile cretinous waste of matter. I hate him! How dare he, as though he believes that he understands. He could not begin to fathom the depths of my mind, the necessity of my ruses in shielding myself. It is the sharp pain in my head that makes me realise I had been trying to scream all of these things at my brother's retreating back- Thor's back. I scream for a while. One of the stranger things about being Jotun is the pain tolerance. I could scream for a few millenia and never need to stop. The worst thing about being Asgardian is that I would never be able to.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sure by now you are beginning to understand. I am a monster. Perhaps I had you fooled, maybe you even sympathised with poor Loki. Well I don't need your pity! I know what I am and make no mistake it is not my blue flesh that curses me. It is my silver tongue, it is my black heart.

I am sitting in my cell. I have heard it said that the worst enemy a man can have is himself. And I have the whole world as well. That's the titillation of being a double, triple, quintuple agent; when you do something good it is still bad. It's the joy of being Loki really. I swear I have been good, do not forget who I was. Well, who I was pretending to be. I was pleasant and charming- on the surface. But I looked out for Thor- somewhat. Alright, I've always been a little less than savoury but it was more fun that way. What would I be if I hadn't? I still wouldn't be Thor, that's for certain. So now I am better, faster, sharper and a better King. I just need to get out of this place and retake my Throne.

But it's not all bad. I have so much time now! My word, what a befitting punishment. If you want to silence someone, take away their audience. Want to make the lies stop? Only leave them with the truth. The funniest part- and this really is quite comical- no one was listening to begin with.

So now I have blank walls where once had been blank faces. I have an engaging little chamber to replace my plump little chambermaids. Oh well. They never liked me anyway. Well, that's not true. I suppose I am exaggerating, I wanted to be modest. To be good! But I cannot deny that I was beloved, perhaps in a different way to Thor. After all, everyone roots for the underdog. All those extra helpings at dinner and strange little gifts left at my door. Even the Lady Sif let her eyes stray my when cheekbones made a sudden arrival. Aren't I lucky. Pretty Loki but so at odds with Thor. Ha, no one seems to realise the alterations I have made over the years. Gradually I became more and more like my brother as a child. My magic was not what it is now and so changes at first were subtle. His soft eyes, my own took on an aqua hue, his muscular frame that I began to emulate. The older we grew the more we resembled each other. And then we fought over something trivial and I disliked my Thorish reflection. So I became Loki.

It was hard at first, considering the magic I would need. I would erase the memory of Odin's Loki. Ruddy cheeked and blonde flecked Loki. The memory of it makes me cringe. Then I began to work. When you can look like anyone how do you choose? Well, first were my eyes. Oh what clear and compelling blue shades were found in my lineage. They had to go. A fine subtle shade of green, perhaps a touch more...ah, bright. Hmmm, a little startling. They stayed. Then my frame. I missed myself, small in stature I had always been and so I simply filled myself in a bit. Alright so I made myself taller, wouldn't you? Perhaps some other areas too.

It was all so gradual and yet I remember so clearly the day when I ran after Thor to bring him his helmet as they walked to the training grounds. It took less effort to match their pace and when he hugged me we stood eye to eye. The Lady Sif bemoaned my presence and I turned to her. Her look of astonishment makes me laugh even now. Oh I played it well but I knew she liked what she saw. Everyone did. That was how I modelled myself. I listened to the people. Isn't that what a King ought to do?

Eyes brighter, smile wider, cheekbones softer. Little by little I became the creation of fantasy. At last, I could best Thor in something and I couldn't even be blamed. I wonder now if Odin ever suspected me in my Thorish phase. Frigga never noticed a thing. How could she when her son had inherited her beauty. It was a miracle. Literally. I often heard her handmaidens complimenting her on having a child become so captivating. The little liar she is, she smiled and cooed and spoke of her good fortune for both her children.

And then we discovered sex. Thor, of course knowing before me. Another pleasure he would never be denied in this life. Endless streams of serving girls and ladies hovering outside his chamber door, fanning themselves at tournaments and fawning over his battle stories. Well two could play at that game. It started off as a bit of fun. When Thor had chosen his bedmate for the evening I would set myself a challenge, a wager if you will, I've always enjoyed a good bet. If I could make them desire me more than my brother, I would allow myself another chapter of my spellbooks.

The first had been a ripe young maiden name Helga. Serving in the kitchens she gazed at Thor's magnificence when serving stew at banquets. Literally. But I rarely attended such arduous events until bidden by my parents- by 'them'. One such evening as she served the stew, I stewed. I recall my jealousy. She was quite pretty and seemed intelligent enough. As she poured the meal near my bowl and not in it, oggling Thor, my mother cleared her throat and the girl whipped her head around in horror. Poor thing, she seemed terrified as she looked at me with wide eyes.

"I am sorry, your grace," she said quickly as she wiped at the mess with her dress. That was my chance. Let me set the scene for you. I wager you'll be in love with me soon enough. I stood up so fast my ornate chair fell. The loud clang brought the attention of the whole room, good. Now I really had a show.

"Please, madam, allow me," I looked her in the eyes and touched her soft hand with my slender fingers. I know the piercing green of my own eyes. I know what they can do. It was working. A hint of a smile as I used my own shirt sleeves to mop up the spill. I felt my mother's outrage as I did so. She was helping my act. Together we mopped and mopped and soon we were laughing.

"I am sorry about your dress," I said quietly with a sad little smile. She fluttered and tittered about how it was nothing.

"Well I suppose you could wear a dish cloth and look lovely," I muttered, just loud enough. Oh goodness, I had gone a little pink. "I'm so sorry," I hissed. " I didn't mean- well you are beautiful, stunningly beautiful. No, I mean, I...um. Your dress! Your dress is beautiful," I stammered. How very rude I am.

"I suppose it is a dish cloth now," she laughed a tittering little laugh that they all did when I was doing well. She was sent from the room then by the bossy kitchen maid and I knew just how to solidify my win. She always wore the dress I sent to her room that night. The one I coated in my own perfumes and enchanted just a touch. I liked her. Thor was forgotten then. She came to my rooms often, flirted with me often. But it wasn't that I wanted her. I wanted to win the wager.

As I sit here now I wonder if she is still here after all this time. Perhaps she married and became fat with children and named the green eyed one Loki. Who knows.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up in a wonderful mood. I recall my dreams as having been pleasant though the details of its content are hazy to me. They day was going well. And then I opened my eyes. Oh what joy, the cell. I yawned heavily and stretched before it occurred to me that the contraption sealing my lips was gone. Oh goody. Surely that meant Odin wished to speak to me, likely not with me.

As good as my own word, the doorway to my holdings opens and two heavily armoured guards stand there. They look fearful. I would be too if I weren't me. Languidly I stretch, no doubt they will deny me the opportunity to walk alongside them. Sure enough, chains rattle somewhere and I stand with whatever energy I can summon. I can barely find enough for that let alone arguing. So I find my wrists stretched before me and clamped together. I sigh. They stare. We walk. They pull.

It's exciting, I can't deny. Home at last and able to breathe in the fresh air of Asgard. Just as I am considering some witty last words I am brought before the Allfather. He looks old. Oldin.

I can't help myself but laugh. That is a lie but I digress.

"I really don't see what all the fuss is about," I shrug, my wrists cutting against the cuff.

"Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes?"

Oh blah, blah, blah. I had better settle in for this one. Surely the oaf ought to be here, presiding over political matters. A fine example this would be. Look son, this is what we do to traitors. Well, at least the ones we don't want to pretend about.

"Wherever you go there is war-"

Not true.

"Ruin-"

Slightly true, of Jotunheim anyway.

"And death."

That's an exaggeration, I swear. I have been many places and plenty of people were still breathing when I left. This conversation bores me in its predictability. I feel I am saying my lines as needed just so I can be executed already. I find myself begging him just to get on with after an extended amount of his drivel.

"It's not that i don't love our little talks. It's just that- I don't love them."

He knows what I mean. I hate that. To be understood now of all times.

"Frigga is the only reason you are alive and you will never see her again."

No. He can't- yes. Yes Loki. You don't want to see her again, she lied. She betrayed you. She is the reason you are being humiliated, kept alive as an example. If you never see her again, she will not see the monster you have become. She'll never see you are sorry either. Because I'm not!

"You will spend the rest of your days in the dungeons."

Give or take five thousand years. Gods, I even annoy myself. No wonder Thor-

"And what of Thor?"

I have to ask. I know the answer.

Of course. King. The golden prince with a golden crown as I rot. He will visit me to ease his conscience, wearing me down little by little. And then he is there in front of me. When did he come in? Through the glass I see him. Crying of course, the sentimental fool. Ah, yes. He is asking my counsel. What do I do, Loki? Oh please, kind and wise brother, help me to rule. Father is gone, I need you by my side. We are stronger together. I believe in you. I close my eyes and I see us together, ruling side by side. It burns.

"Take him to his cell."

Wait, what? The chains on my wrist tighten as the guards tug on them. My eyes scan the room for Thor but he is not there. Only Odin. I really am tired. I walk with the idiots pulling me and I admit, I began to recite the spells I would use to exit the cage they were to put me in. Upon arriving, however, I felt Odin's magic and then the real fear set in. It was only a moment but I was afraid. I knew he was watching. He and Heimdall, mocking me. I sit on the bed and do my best not to cry. I sniffle a bit but I hide it with a laugh or two.

"Loki."

I'm startled and turn around. There is no one.

"Who's there?"

Wonderful. Odin is trying to drive me insane. I glare at the ceiling and finally understand why Midgardians could be found muttering to the skies.


	5. Chapter 5

At first I question the point. I lay on the little cot and I stare at the ceiling. Sometimes I close my eyes. Sometimes I open them. Sometimes I close them. Oh, I suppose I already said that. It's been weeks. Maybe it has been years. I keep looking at my hands, checking to see if they look older.

Yesterday, perhaps the day before, a thought occurred to me. You know, those ones that bubble up from nowhere in your idle time and then haunt you forever? That's precisely it, the thought was about Odin's words- the rest of your days- how long do Jotuns live? I keep wondering that. Why didn't I find out? Who would even know. Save the Jotuns, those ones I killed maybe? What if I continue existing until Odin's magic breaks. I suppose that gives me something to plan for. Fill up the day.

I have a lot of time where I reflect. The purpose of this I suppose. To make me realise the error of my ways and then let me die. Instead of blinding realisations though, I have darkening moments of enlightenment. A certain turn of phrase, centuries worth of information to dissect.

Sometimes when it is dark after they turn the lights off, I lay on my side on my little bed and wrap my arms around myself in an embrace. Sometimes, I smooth the hair back from my face and remember the gentle hand that used to do so. I feel the ache in the bottom of my stomach and I have to bury myself in the pillow to mask the sound of the screaming I can't seem to help. This is what Odin has made me. He keeps her from me as the last cruel thing he can do to me. But it is better that way. I'm not sure. There is something in my head tell me so. Someone. I'm not sure. It must be late in the day now. I hope they will turn the lights off. I hope Odin's eye cannot penetrate the darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

After all this nothing, finally, today there was something. When I woke, there was a table in my cell. I'll call it my room. It deserves a homely little name now that I have my table. I wonder what I ever did without one. Perhaps I shall sit at and and write and- oh wait. No chair. How amusing. No matter. Everything will be fine now that I have the little table.

Perhaps I should describe it. Likely even in great detail, down to its stubby little feet. As you know, I have no other pressing engagements. So I'll begin. It stands at waist height. My own waist height. Not the one I would be had I not made myself taller. It is a beautiful mahogany brown with intricate detailing and pleats. There are three little legs that loop as they kiss the floor. Who am I kidding. It's a table. This is all I have to think about. The three stubby and ill proportioned supports. One for Odin, one for Thor, one for Frigga. No axe for Loki.

Who sent it? Can you guess? I'll wager that you get it in three. Not that I know. Nor that I care.

Anyway, there are more important things to think about. For instance there has been a guard that is displaying some sort of plague like symptoms. That would be fun.


	7. Chapter 7

I've been laying here in the dark with my arms wrapped around myself. I am sad because I have finally started talking to myself. It started as something to do, verbal musings. Now I see I am slipping. The guards laugh at me through the glass, their fingers tapping at it while they mock me. I know Odin sees them and I know he must be laughing too.

I think about one of the girls I tried to steal away from Thor. She comes to mind quick enough and we talk for a while. I kiss my own hand and pretend she is here. She was kind to me. She told me once that she thought I was beautiful. I called her shallow and she laughed. She said she had meant my soul. I became a little infatuated with her for a while before she succumbed to Thor's admirations. I cup my own cheek with my own hand and brush my thumb along the cheekbone as she once did. As many people did once.

I pull my hand away when I feel my cheeks dampen and pinch myself. I still don't know if he watches me. I've grown paranoid. Why would he watch me? Why would he care? Sometimes I wonder if the guards are even there. Are they a product of Odin's magic? There to provide some comfort that I am being considered a threat?

"Are you trying to prove my insanity," I groan to no one in particular. Sans particular there would still be no one. I use my own fingernails to dig into my palms to get some grip on reality. Sometimes it helps to keep the voice away.

Strangely, I feel a trickle of something. As though binds being loosened. Could it- I try to use my magic to leave but I feel the chains firmly in place. Unless...

She is in front of me now. My magic painting in every eyelash and freckle. I reach for her and she shakes her head. She lies down on the cot and I lie opposite her. It is enough to look at her. I wanted Frigga but anyone will do right now. Of course she would find a way, of course she knew about my boyhood crush. My mother has not given up on me as I had her. I lie here with the spectre of the girl who called me beautiful and think about just how ugly I am.


	8. Chapter 8

"Loki."

"Yes?"

I sit up. She's really here. She finally-

"Why are you here?"

No, shut up you idiot! She looks mad, no. More, angry? Sad? What does that look like? I can't remember.

"I needed to see you. To know that you are well."

"Do I look well," I chuckle. She shakes her head. I am offended.

"Yes, well, you try to be presentable when you don't own a mirror or a comb," I sneer. Why do I do that?

"Would you like such things?"

"Why are you here," I ask again.

She sighs.

"If Odin found you here," I can't help myself and reach to hug her. My hands move right through her ghostly figure and I gasp in spite of myself.

"I can't...?"

"No. I'm sorry my darling. It's too risky."

I nod. I don't know why. I rathermore feel like screaming.

"How long have I been here?"

Oh dear. I didn't mean for it to sound quite that pathetic. She doesn't laugh at me though. She never has. Not even that first time when I used her spell book to alter myself and it hadn't gone entirely to plan. Perhaps the magic is different for the Jotun form.

"A while," she replies diplomatically. I hate diplomatic mother.

"And Thor?"

I sit down on the little chair that seems to have appeared from nowhere. It wasn't there last night I'm sure of it. But then in a technicality, I wasn't all there last night either. Long episode with an imaginary demon, best not to ask.

"He asks about you everyday," she says imploringly. Traitor.

"And how would you know what to tell him. You've been spying on me?"

"Watching over you," she reaches out to touch my cheek and her image hovers just so. I feel it though.

"How are you," I finally work up the courage to work it past the lump in my throat. She smiles at me and I want to die.

"I stay strong. I know I must, I have a son who needs me."

Of course. Why am I such a fool. I trust her, love her again and she only came to twist the knife into my bloodied corpse.

"And soon, he will be back with me."

Not Thor. That's right Loki. You, not him.

"I will rot in here," I say. My word, I wasn't expecting that. By the Norns I sound tragic. "I deserve to."

Oh, here we go, melodramatic Loki has shown up again. I hate him.

She jumps then and looks around.

"I must go," she whispers and vanishes.


	9. Chapter 9

I have little to say. Some days I read the books Frigga brought for me. Some days I wonder what I am reading them for.

I taste the metallic of the muzzle even when I am not wearing it. Sometimes the guards put it on me when I have been talking to myself. I can see they fear me. Mad Loki and his mutterings. I don't fight them on it anymore, even I am glad of the silence.

I wonder how she brings the furniture, how the guards let her leave me things. They all love her though. I hear them call her móðir and rue that she had ever been cursed a son such as me. They tap the glass just to tell me so. They likely urinate in my food.

I often wonder what Thor is doing. I have heard he is working to undo my mess. I am relearning. Thor is good, Loki is bad. I wonder many things. Prisons bring very interesting questions but the fun part is in having no answers.

I think about the void and all the things it made me wonder. I submerge myself in the memories of the pain just to feel something. I practice what little magic is possible here. I don't know how she loosed the bonds but I am grateful. I can move my food tray from here to there and back again. I feel seven years old once more.

I imagine ways to end it all. But I have limited resources, mainly consisting of side tables, a pouffé and piss porridge. They don't even provide me with utensils to eat, instead they gather at the glass to watch me eat with my fingers. Prince Loki of Asgard, King Loki of Jotunheim, licking food from the floor.

I fill my days the way Odin would want, with regret and remorse. Do you know, he sent me a gift? I woke one morning, finding it wrapped and on one of the little tables. I waited for mother to appear so I could open her gift in her presence but she shook her head. It had not been her. In confusion, I unwrapped the little package and found a little wooden carving. It did not break even as I hurled it against the wall. Mother flinched as I stamped on it. Over and over. Little wooden Odin stared at me with one eye and I remembered the exact feel of the wood in my tiny hands as I have carved it all those years ago. My father, my hero. I understand where my enjoyment in mockery descends from. When she left I carefully placed little Odin into the chamber pot before relieving myself. In case you hadn't noticed, I've gone mad.


	10. Chapter 10

This is what I am reduced to now. I am throwing a cup in the air. The entertainment, it's too much. Someone stop me.

Wait. Something is wrong. I walk to my window and see that Hel has paid a visit. Kurse. It can't be! It is. I am free. Free of this place. Yes. Open the glass. Do it, open it and let me join you. The guards have fallen, simply open the shield and I will be on my merry way to vengeance.

No, not that way you idiot. No. No. No. No! Don't go. Fine. Like I need you're help. You'll be doing me a favour when you take out the useless oaf.

"You might want to try the stairs to the left."

See, you need me. Oh. Evidently he doesn't. Seems my silver tongue doesn't stay sharp in dull company.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm pacing. She promised she would not leave it so long between her visits. What if he knows? What is he found out? Maybe he always knew. Maybe she was lying to you, made to check in on you and taunt you with her unreachable presence. When was the last time I touched someone in the flesh? Before I came here? Thor perhaps, when I clutched at him in...'panic'. Hmmmm, alright we can't count that unless it was genuine. We're really going to have to go quite far back now.

I pick up my books and arrange them neatly whilst I pace. I had thrown them from me earlier in a fit of Frigga hating. Where is she? I want to know where Thor is. I was sure I would never be rid of him as I sit in this glass box but he never came. Not once, not even to see that I lived. Unless- Odin may have told him I am dead. Yes. That's why he has never found me, he does not know I'm here.

No, Loki, you imbecile, mother would have told him you are here. She told you he asks about you, remember? No. It's not my fault, I have a lot on my mind, I can't remember every silly little detail you offer up. Now if you want to be useful you can find out when mother will be here. Or better yet, conjure a way out of here.

Fine, be that way.

I pick up the book and sit by my window. I spend most of my time in front of my little window, convincing the guards that I do not care. There are new guards now. The other ones had the plague. No, that's not right. Oh yes, that's it, they were murdered. I wonder whatever happened with that. The accursed Kurse who left me here. With friends like these-

Oh what does he want. Is it time for my measly bowl of food? Time for some humiliation of a trickster god where they open the door and douse me in icy water to see my flesh turn blue. Figuratively. I never let them see.

Queen Frigga is dead? Interesting.


	12. Chapter 12

I-

I have nothing to say.


	13. Chapter 13

It was very beautiful. The funeral- the one I had in my head. But of course it would be when the person you mourn is that beautiful. It was just the way she wanted it.

First, I left this little cell. There was little purpose in my being here when she bled all over the floor above. I had on my armor which was a little blood spattered. I had been trying to protect her you see. But I had been wounded and he slipped sway from me. Thor did nothing.

I held her in my arms and looked at her beautiful face. She used her energy to reach up and remove my helmet. She wanted to see my face. The raven locks she often admired. She'd never been a fan of blonde hair. I told her I would heal her but she shook her head. No. It is alright. I felt our magic intertwining as they said goodbye to each other. Mine was always stronger with her golden strands.

Gently, I closed her eyes before carrying her down the stairs with me. People bowed to us and they wept. Thor followed, being useless. I brought her to the garden she always tended and I laid her down in the soft grass. She had made me promise her one night when I cuddled next to her in her bed.

"Don't let them burn me Loki. I want to live on, like the mighty Yggdrasil."

So I performed the magic I had spent hundreds of years learning, just for her. I made her into the beautiful apple blossom that stands guard over our home. I had to trade hundreds of stories for Idun to give me one of her apples, many other things as well. I'd kept it, hidden for this. When I stood, the wind brushed through my hair and the little branches and a few blossoms swirled around. She was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

She was warm in my arms. I felt her pull away and I clutched her tighter still.

"Loki, I'm not going anywhere," she chuckled.

"I thought you were dead, I hissed, the pain of it catching in my lungs. "They told me you were killed." She pushed me back to look at me.

"Who told you that?"

I pointed sullenly at the guard outside the glass. He looked at me with a look of horrified confusion.

"Oh darling, I'm sorry. They've been quite cruel to you."

"Quite?! If there was ever an understatement!" I hugged her again. "I am so relieved."

I cannot tell you my relief when she was brought to my little cell. Not simply a mirage, solid flesh and warm to the touch. It seemed Odin had at least a small amount of sympathy. He was the only one no doubt who could see past my shields as I tore apart my cell. He watched me mourn for days, weeks even, before realising perhaps I had been punished enough.

"He knows you are here?"

She nodded and stroked my cheek. "We want you to come back to us, Loki. I cannot bear to see you kept in here like an animal. You must promise me you will try. You do want to be free, do you not?"

"It's not that simple," I bite my lip and fall heavily onto the bed. She sits beside me and allows me to rest my head in her lap.

"What are you not telling me?"

I sigh. She cannot know. Suddenly I feel her signature as her magic asks to see. It's likely the worst idea ever but I let her inside my head. Every now and then she gasps with sadness and I see her flinch when the voice becomed angry at her intrusion.

Thanos will make me pay for this. Hopefully I'll be gone before then. She pulls me closer then and I am thankful for this one mercy from the Allfather.

* * *

"What's he doing now?"

The guard on duty shrugged. "He's taken to pointing at things now, still talking to himself."

They both watched through the glass as the Prince Loki paced back and forth before curling up on the bed.

"If I ever end up in one of these things, promise me you'll kill me," the other laughed sharply.

"I can't say I blame him. If anything happened my mother I'd go pretty raving mad too. Not even allowed to go to the funeral, nobody deserves that."

They watch in silence as the shields flicker, revealing the broken mess behind them. They both pretend they don't see.

"Drinks later?"

"Definitely. I need one- or five."

"Till later then."


	15. Chapter 15

_Everything had been empty. I remember the weightlessness all around me, the vacuum- the void. The glorious purpose I had been burdened with was gone. I was empty and I was free. Prince Loki had a life and a family and a reason. I had none of these and so I was content to drift into oblivion. Until a warmth spread within me and light shone where once there had only been an inky black._

 _When I came to, he was there. Sweet words, such kind words. I was flattered in all the right places and Loki revealed secrets that Loki ought not to. An army? For me? How kind. Of course King Laufeyson. Anything you desire King Laufeyson. How proud I was when they presented me with two beautiful, intricate cuffs. A symbol of alliance, the mark of royalty. Of course I put them on. Of course I did._

 _The words became less sweet. How I laughed to myself, they had been buttering me up and now they were cutting to the quick. This 'Other' character became dull, Thanos growing irksome. Where was my army? I did not much care for this race of Chitauri. I grew tired of their home and so I decided to leave. I smirked as I bade my farewell. They had played their cards wrong, I had better offers to seek. With a cheery wave I summoned my magic and- nothing. How odd._

 _"Kneel."_

 _Oh, how very funny. What a nice parting gift, one last jest. They must have heard of me._

 _"I'm afraid we must be misunderstanding each other."_

 _I flinched when my knees hit the cold stone. I didn't remember kneeling but I was. I couldn't move. My magic was suppressed within me, or so I thought. It thrummed within me, just out of my reach but not out of a certain- other._

 _There are times in my life when I have been afraid. This was not one of those times. I didn't know and I didn't understand. I was naive. I felt the stinging burn of humiliation as Thanos touched my face. You know, I even looked at him with defiance. Ignorance truly was bliss._

 _And then they burned me. Singing off the flesh from muscle and holding my skin in front of me. The acrid smell of burnt flesh embedding itself in my memory. They placed me upon the fires they stoked and watched my Jotun form scream for mercy. I called for Thor and they scorched me. I begged for my mother and they singed my fingertips. I screamed for Odin and they doused me in water before beginning again. No flame was too hot and no fire so wild that it was undeserving of the great King Loki. King of nowhere and no-one. I had no control over and army and to their delight I soon lost control of my silence and my bladder._

 _Then I knew fear. I begged them to kill me and I bargained for my life in equal measure. They laughed and jeered and mocked. One night, whilst they slept I stole one of their swords and ran myself through with it. Over and over I plunged the searing metal into my flesh, biting through my lip so they would not discover me by my screams; and still I lived. Turning I found Thanos watching me, controlling the illusion of the blade with my own magic._

 _After that night, things began to make sense. I understood why I was here. They were simply testing me. They cared more for me than my treacherous family. I could be stronger now. A frost giant, forged in the fires to create a new strength. Thor could be a shining example of the light, born of the sun. But I have truly seen the darkness, the horrors that freedom brings. I will have my army. I will take back my Throne._


	16. Chapter 16

I watch through hazy vision as Thor walks towards my little glass box. He looks different now. Is he taller? Hmm. It's really a rather inconvenient time for him to pop by. I was in the middle of reminiscing on my time with the Chitauri. And I have to start pacing this evening so I'm wondering how much I'll have to reschedule for this little chat. Chitauri memories won't haunt themselves. It made me stronger. It did? Yes. Yes. It did. What was I saying? Oh look, Thor is here. He seems taller.

"After all this time, you come to visit me now. Why? Have you come to gloat."

"Enough. Loki. No more tricks. No more illusions."

Hmmm. No more illusions. Well, I was tired anyway. Even from here, his expression is priceless. Did he think me so emotionless? That I would care so little?

You do.

Shut up, no one asked you.

"Loki."

Yes 'brother'.

"She would have wanted you there."

Ah. Just back from memory lane and Thor wants to take a little guilt trip.

"Where," I ask innocently. Say it. Say it. He doesn't say it.

"I know you desire vengeance as much as I do. I will grant you that."

Yes but the point here is that your vengeance with me. Oh, does he know that part? Escape Asgard. This seems like a riddle only I could conjure up. What is treasured beyond reason and tethered by loyalty?

"You must be truly desperate to come to me for help."

I say desperate. I mean wise. The former seems to bring out the latter in him.

He looks around the vile state of my cell. Oh ha ha. Point taken.

"What makes you think you can trust me?"

"I don't."

What, no longer winded speech? He's not usually so succinct.

"But you should know that when we fought each other in the past-"

There we go. He had me worried for a moment there. Kill me? Oh, that's funny. Very amusing. You can't kill a dead man, Thor.

"When do we start?"

Oh Thor. Little do you know we have long since begun.


	17. Chapter 17

All things considered, I was having a great time. Yes, I'll admit Svartalfheim was not my number one place to be headed at this time but I was out of the cell. Then again, the Myrkalfar are not the greatest fans of Yours Truly. Not after what happened with the dwarves. I was almost about to turn to Thor and suggest that we ought to at least bring a peace offering but the look on his face suggested he was not much in a gift giving mood.

You would think he had been tortured and locked in a cell for centuries. I have to do a double skip to catch up with him as he rounds the next corner.

"This is so unlike you brother," I say. No. I like this Thor significantly more than the boorish one I have known. Finally he is coming around to my way of thinking. They all do in the end. "So clandestine."I see him smirk. It's been a very long time from when Thor laughed at my jokes. It's been a very long time from when I have been funny.

"Wouldn't you rather punch your way out?"

"I might if you don't stop talking."

How very rude.

"It will be as though I'm not even here," I say as I morph my features into those of the fair Lady Sif.

"Oh, Thor. I'm not sure what has come over me. There is a strange aching in my loins when I am around you."

He punches me then. Damn, that wasn't even my best one.


	18. Chapter 18

It irks me when Thor fusses over the mortal. I'm beginning to think he simply brought me here so that he might taunt me with the thing I crave.

"What I could do with the power that flows through those veins."

"It would consume you."

Precisely. Even if I had all the years of Asgard I couldn't explain to Thor the longing to be consumed by something that isn't jealosy nor hatred. To give in to the raw power and know that there was a reason for every moment of pain.

"She seems to be holding up alright."

"She is stronger than you know."

I look at her tiny features and consider how much I have underestimated my brother. I had always presumed Thor would seduce his way to the beds of every woman in the Kingdom before taking a quiet little Queen to rule alongside him. I realise now that in all my imaginings, I watched from the sidelines, his bouncy little children and cold wife unknowing of my existence. It irks me.

"And if she dies," I ask, the infants in my fantasy stare at me in horror. So too does Thor.

"Then I will join her."

"She is only a mortal and yet you would give everything up for her?"

"Yes."

He stares me down until I look away.

"That is some irrational loyalty."

"It's not supposed to be rational. I will stay with her until the end. That is loyalty, Loki. Something I fear you have forgotten."

He strokes her cheek gently and I cringe.

"Why did you leave me there?"

The question echoes between us before I even realise I asked it.

"Was it...rational?"

"Loki," he says in warning.

"You make promises of love. You profess you will be there until the end. Did I not love her, Thor? Did I not make that same promise?"

"Your choices put you there and-"

"You put me there! Long before Odin locked me in that cell. I was chained by your shadow."

"It was you who decided to bring darkness to this world," he growled.

"Did you...did you burn her?"

He looks away.

"I am sorry you were not there," he says sadly.

"I could have saved her," I say. More to myself.

 _No, Loki._

"I do not doubt it, brother. Please, help me to save another," he looks at me in a silent plea.

Oh how I will enjoy bringing about chaos.


	19. Chapter 19

Things were, once again, not as they ought to be. We watch in quiet horror as Malekith leaves; more powerful and dangerous than ever. There is only a brief moment however as the fight continues. It feels equally horrible and thrilling to feel the blades in my hands as I release years of rage in the form of blood. For once, not my own. Well, alright, that's not true. I have killed a few people, who hasn't?

I try to keep track of Thor as he battles the half witted oaf that is Kurse. I hope he ends him in a fire of hatred. I parry left and right with the lesser minions to this cause and at last I feel the satisfying twitch as I draw my blade to the remainder's throat. It takes me a moment to locate Thor. Oh wonderful, he is being pummelled.

My timing is impeccable as I delve into my magic and fashion the most crude and jagged blade I can before ramming it into the space between his shoulder blades. You can't really blame me if I twisted it around a few times.

"Thank you, brother," Thor pants as Kurse disintegrates into the worthless dust we all knew him to truly be. Thor winces a little so I reach out a hand to help him to his feet. He seems horrified by my gesture and I find that to be quite rude given the trouble I have just gone to. Oh, I see, he's not horrified by you, silly. I feel cool fingers grasp my neck and the hum of Thor's shouting in my ears.

"No, Loki!"

 _No, Loki._

My fingers slip from the Bifrost and I fall into nothingness. But I feel the tight grip on my neck as I am pulled through a void that was for so long my home. I grasp at my magic to find a way back. Please, something. Anything. I wish I had stabbed myself with that blade. It would have been better than this.


	20. Chapter 20

I can't move. My slender fingers stretching out before me, hopelessly reaching for something only I can see. I have been here for days watching the constellations turn. I would have been up there one day.

The rock is cold on my back, the air stale in my lungs and I take a moment to remember the feeling of those stars surrounding me. When I would slip from this form into chaos each time I felt particularly melancholy in my formative years. I used to dive as a bird and swirl as the wind. I was an echo and a memory before returning to flesh.

His shadow falls over me and I whimper. It is heavy and dark. His foot reaches out and rests on my chest a moment, I ponder if he will drive it right through to stamp out the last of my resilience. The pressure leaves my chest as he kneels beside me, reaching to touch me. I cannot help myself, I lean into his touch. The soft caress of his ghostly hand on my forehead.

"It has taken so long, little Prince. So long for you to see, to understand." I sigh and nuzzle his hand. I must, he is my master. I serve only him. "You have strayed from me, disobeyed me. Are you sorry?" I nod eagerly. I must please him. He must know my repentance.

"You have failed. King Laufey's name, now a disgrace."

"No...I-"

"Hush," he soothes. "It will be over soon enough. They will see that you never needed them. You will repent your crimes against me. You failed to bring it to me. You failed to serve your master. But there is still a way," he cooed. Pain shot through my stomach then and I double over. He held me as I convulsed. I felt it within me, the blue tangling with my own aura. It's tendrils began to choke my own.

"Thor," I whispered when I had finished retching.

"Yes. Thor brought you here. He tricked you, Loki. He used your own ways against you. All this time he twisted your will to that of Odin, to his own desires. He is jealous of your power."

Power?

"The power of a true King. Of the one who is worthy."

Worthy. I am worthy?

"You should be proud. Now, you will make the greatest sacrifice of all. All this time we sent you chasing after the source of power- when we had it in our hands all along," he smoothed my damp hair back from my face. I feel calm.

"I serve only you," I say, my mantra. Over and over. He is pleased with me.

He stands up and calls forward the Chitauri, I lay stretched out on the cold rock. They will hurt me, I know it. He will watch. He does it because he knows I can bear it. After all, I am worthy. At last, I am worthy. I struggle onto my knees and try to stand. Rough hands drag me up and it is a blessed relief to simply cease to exist as Loki. He was always meddlesome.

I think of Odin with every lash of the whip that marks me. Odinson would crumble, beg for mercy. Laufeyson does not beg. Laufeyson is strong and powerful. I think of my mother when I feel their hands on me. It was she who cursed me with a beauty the Chitauri choose to possess, the magic that binds me. It makes me laugh that they desire me over Thor. I watch the dark hunger of Thanos' red eyes as they force themselves upon me. Touching me, invading me. Throughout it all, I hear his voice in my head, lustful and laced with venom. I am still more desirable than you Thor. I am still winning, brother. I think of him throughout this endless night when I scream and writhe. This pain is nothing. It is only a fraction of what they can do to me because they use my own magic to do it. But I will be strong and show them that I am so much more. Soon they will be here. They will know. They will see. I am not worthless.

My power is greater than a Tesseract. I am more powerful than the Casket. There is no force I cannot control, no manipulation I cannot evade. My secrets are my own. I, Loki, a serpent who dives in the secret pools of all the realms; both ancient and yet unborn. I, Loki, watcher of the beginnings and of the endings. I, Loki, teller of every story, shaper of every future.

I, Odinson, who can fool anyone into believing anything. I even had you fooled. And now, for my next trick-


	21. Chapter 21

_"And then what? "_

 _Slowly I thread my fingers through the water in the little pool._

 _"And then you will cease to be Loki."_

 _I had never been one for Oracles but in this instance, I thought it best to ask. Like the midgardians are fond of saying, 'speak now or have your lips sewn shut by some smelly dwarves'. Perhaps that's just me._

 _"Will they ever know? That I didn't have a choice, that Thanos-"_

 _"That is unclear."_

 _I nod even though I feel like screaming._

 _"Will I know? Will I still be me?"_

 _There is a pause._

 _"Until such a time that are not, you will continue to be."_

 _"Thank you. That is very helpful."_

 _I try not to roll my eyes, I did a lot of things I am not proud of to have a few measly questions answered and this was what I am being given. I have one more question but I struggle to bring myself to ask it._

 _"Will Thor hate me?"_

 _There is a long pause as Mimir ponders._

 _"I see no time, in all the Ages, that this could be true."_

 _"You mean it isn't possible or that you can't see that far?"_

 _"You have asked all your questions."_

 _I sigh._

 _"But prophecies do not always come true, do they? After all, nothing is set in stone. So I could change everything. I have powerful magic, I can rewrite things from here, can't I?"_

 _"You have asked all of your questions, son of Odin. It is up to you to find the answers."_


	22. Chapter 22

Things are as they ought to be. I stand here before Thanos, chained by the dark shadows of his magic. It reaches beyond any depths of imprisonment I have ever known because it is weaker than my own magic, even now. It leaves me free to run. I must choose to stay. I have one saving grace in my favour in that Thor might forgive me for all I have done. I did what I could to save the mortal and I only hope one day they might understand.

I have been so long without myself that I am almost a shadow in myself. From the very first moment when I held it in my hands and from the Coronation day that would have made my brother King. I awoke on that morning, happy. Today was to be the start of a glorious reign under Thor's rule, with my counsel. Mother had always told me that where I used my head, Thor used his heart and that one could not rule without the other. I believed it all my life. Yes, all of it. Until the first whispered words on that morning.

It should be you.

It frightened me to hear a voice that was not my own speaking with such conviction. I tried to block it out but it wove itself into the fibres of my muscles and formed my magic into the key to the gateway. I felt Heimdall's eyes on me as I shook on my bedroom floor. I tried to speak but it seemed I was without words. I dressed in the beautiful new clothes made for me and I smiled when my mother came to place the circlet upon my head.

"So very handsome," she said fondly as she kissed my cheek. "This is a wonderful day, Loki. To see both of my sons ascend the Throne."

I reminded her there was only enough room for one unless she planned for me to sit on Thor's knee.

"All these years of magic and you have not learned to conjure yourself another?" She always could make me laugh.

"I don't want a Throne, mother."

"How very modest of you," she smirked.

"But I'll take it if it means Thor has to sit on the floor," I poked her in the stomach before offering her my arm. We walked together to the Throne Room. The voice followed.

"Kneel."

I look up now at the horrifying red eyes that look so like my own in Jotun form. I swear to you, I had every intention of kneeling. I wanted, for at least once in my existence, to take the easy way out. The plan had always been surrender. Once everything had been put in place, I would roll over and give up. Admittedly, I rather hoped it wouldn't be on this Helish realm. I had grandiose visions of my own home in Asgard, thousands weeping at my sacrifice. But life is rarely so kind nor meaningful and so instead I had cold rock and dry eyes surrounding me. And now that Thanos sat before me in the flesh, it left just enough room for the voice of another inside my poisoned mind.

"I am with you," she whispered. I fell to my knees.

Mother. I'm sorry.

"Hush, Loki. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Can he hear you? There is only silence then.

I strain my thoughts to block out the roar of the Chitauri as Thanos addresses them. They scream for my blood and I find I no longer care. I just want to be free, from the dull little cell of my memory and the pain. There is a loud cheer and I flinch. Before I look up, I already know what I will see. Odin and Thor stare at me. Odin's face a mask, Thor's a picture of devastation. I look away. Though I always knew he would find a way to bring them here, I truly thought they would still hate me when he did. Somehow, their forgiveness makes this harder. I try to appear dignified to some degree but I am so very tired. I can't recall how long it has been. Pain has little concept of the passage of time.

"Brother," Thor says sadly as they approach. In all of this I never really kept up with the politics of the thing. Was this a declaration of war? I only know that I was the reason the Casket could work. Without me, Thanos would fall. I had made it so. Oh well, I wouldn't have to worry about the fallout. I take a long moment to look at Odin and I can see he understands. He is not here to save me. I use what little energy I have to reach out to Heimdall.

When it is over, bring them home.


	23. Chapter 23

One foot after another, I make the slow walk to the platform that plays host to Odin and Thor. The Chitauri form a guard and heckle me as I walk the aisle they create. I must keep my head up but I feel myself sway with fatigue. My family watch with a reserved stoicism only known by royalty. I tell myself they will avenge me, their lost prince. That all of Asgard will mourn- but that is simply the narcissist in me and the reason I ended up here at all.

Odin is steadfast, his wisdom seeping through every pore and making him a stronger tactician than I ever gave him credit for. He is too clever for Thanos to wield. He took me from Jotunheim with the intention of uniting two realms, as a bargaining chip for a peace deal. But he raised me as a son, perhaps not equal in all things but I cannot deny that he wanted me to rule. I see now that Odin wanted both his sons on the Throne.

Thor is too pure of heart for any dark forces to take it over. His love is simple and uncomplicated. He loves you because he deems you worthy of love. How I wish I had seen it before this moment when I know I look at him for the last time. It is my doing that I am here, that my heart and mind were open to Thanos and to the Other.

I cannot look at them as I am made to ascend the cold stone steps. Why must everything be a ceremony? It was not enough that I was broken at their feet. They make me stand here whilst I have enough thought left to regret my life and then it will be over. I long for it now.

"This is the price of mercy," Thanos smiles as he too steps onto the platform, passing by Odin with a sneer. "This is weakness." I flinch when he curls his fingers into my hair. I see Thor shaking with rage and our eyes meet. Forgive me.

"So easy to manipulate with your desperation. Now you will give yourself to me completely."

There is a transient blue light when he extends his hand, the rock growing and shifting to create a jagged altar before us. I cannot lie, there is terror within me. I want to beg and to cry. I could run if I chose to, my magic is strong enough. In an instant the air is snatched from my lungs as he grips my throat, slamming me down onto the rock.

"NO!"

I only see the hazy stars above me but I can picture Odin reaching out with an arm to restrain my brother. The screams of the Chitauri grow louder with their excitement.

"This night, the power stolen by this thief will be returned to us. All creatures will bow to us and we will be unmatched," he raises his arms dramatically and even in my current predicament I want to retch at the cliché that is Thanos. He could at least think of something original. I squirm when he places a hand on my chest and receive a sharp blow to the cheek for my efforts. I know he will not simply kill me with any dignity left. I have irked him too much for such kindness. His fingers ghost over the stinging flesh and he seems to enjoy my discomfort.

There is a brief moment when he disappears from my line of vision and I am left staring into the inky expanse above. It startles me to see him above me again when he climbs onto the altar, sceptre in hand. I hear the heavy breathing of my brother that I would recognise anywhere from years of his snoring. I wonder if my father is even still here. The gem glows in this darkness and I have to turn my head to avoid its glare. It sickens me to feel his hands on me as he straddles me. The intimacy of it is humiliating and I know that he intends for them to question what he has done to me, the familiarity of the position.

"Brother, please."

I cannot tell if the voice was merely in my head.

"All kneel before me," Thanos says with a leering grin. "Even a Prince of Asgard." I shake as he raises the sceptre over my chest. The point enters my skin, splintering through bone and tissue and I feel it hit the rock below with a thud. There is a lot of screaming, namely me, and I writhe and twist in a fashion that is very undignified. See, I told you he would take that from me. Every attempt to breathe shatters my resolve into weeping and I can't even stop myself from twitching like a madman. I feel the power draining from within me, dying as an ember and only my own magic clings to the tissue of my skin.

"Funny," I manage to say as blood fills my mouth. "You are the one kneeling".

There is a moment of chaos then as Yggdrassil shakes. Rivers flow back to the mountains and every second stretches into one hundred thousand years. I slip through cracks and hidden walkways of the realms, finding rare gifts to bring home to my mother. I run my fingers along the spines of each book in our library and run through the palace with Thor.

 _"Loki," he asks suddenly, berry juice staining his lips and fingers as we lay on the dewy grass. "Do you think if we were not brothers, we would be friends?" I searched a nearby shrub for the next sweet fruit._

 _"No, not really."_

" _You don't," he asks looking hurt._

 _"There may be a time when we are no longer friends but you can never stop being brothers," I explained to him. He could be quite dense at times._

" _Oh, well that's better I suppose."_

"Loki."

Thor takes my hand in his and brushes my hair back from my forehead with a gentle touch. The last of my magic takes refuge in him and I am free.


	24. Chapter 24

Dark wings silhouetted the sky. All eyes were raised to the heavens as a quiet hush descended. The ravens looped over the gathered people, flying in high arcs before descending to rest once more with their master. The air was sombre despite the cause for celebration. The war had ended, the realm rested in peace; without fear or vengeance in its heart. Huginn and Munnin sang their mournful lament as runes were cast into the night and in every realm the light of a new star shone down. It danced across rivers and echoed through memory. It painted light and cast shadows greater than time itself.

"Lokabrenna," people whispered when they saw it. The brightest star in the darkness.


	25. Chapter 25

The deep and kingly red stood out from the wash of sorrow that filled the stretch of riverbank. The trees, the gathered people and dark ravens held their silence as they watched a lone figure approach the water. In his arms he carried Prince Loki, swathed in his own cloak that did little to mask the bloodstains. Many could not bear to see their future King this way and so they lowered their gaze. The warriors three made a guard of honour, the Lady Sif stood stoic when he passed.

With a gentleness that many would doubt he possessed, Thor laid the bundle that was his younger brother into the boat. He knelt before it for a long time. To this day, many claim they saw his lips move as he whispered his final goodbyes. Songs lament the words of forgiveness and of gratitude, singers melody an unspoken promise. They do not know. But we, who were there, know that Prince Thor chose his last words very carefully.

"If this is a trick, brother. Know that I will kill you."

Thor could have sworn he heard that once so irksome chuckle. The boat looked so very bare. There were no flowers as there had been for his mother. No jewels and no weaponry to pay homage at judgement. His brother, he knew, was not a man of sentiment.

'Really Thor, what would I do with such trivialities? A man who tries to take everything with him is a man who has nothing worth bringing. Besides, they're more appreciated by the living.'

He had laughed a little then which the gathered crowd took to be a sob of grief. He could almost imagine Loki's raised eyebrows at what he would deem 'Nidhogg tears'. He stood on unsteady legs and gave the signal for the boat to be released. It drifted so casually through the water that Thor could almost picture it as Loki's effortless stroll. The archers raised their bows and loosed on count. Thor turned away as the fire took hold, pulling all that was left of Loki from this realm. His father grasped his shoulder as he passed. He wanted to be alone. He barely registered the walk through the empty palace. He could hear the echo of footsteps but they barely seemed like his own. Passing the Throne room, he ducked his head. He could not face it today.

Reaching Loki's room, he hesitated before entering. It was as he expected. Empty. Rows of books lined the shelves, the evening light catching the dust. Soon, night would fall and Lokabrenna would cast it's light upon them. That thought made Thor smile. His fingers hovered over the sparse furniture. Much of it lay in the cell below. That thought hurt.

Thor sat upon the perfectly made bed and stared at his hands. His chest ached as the weight of all that had happened pressed down on him.

"Forgive me, brother," he said to the empty silence.

"There is nothing to forgive."


	26. Chapter 26

"Loki?"

"Yes, Thor. It's me."

Many years had passed from the death of Prince Loki. The writings spoke of him often in ending the War of the Ages. Times had been peaceful in their realm and Asgard had been governed with wisdom and integrity under the watchful eye of King Thor and Queen Jane and though many did not know it, the careful gaze of Loki. He had made a promise to their mother that they would rule together and he intended to do just that. Slipping from his form as chaos, he spoke with his brother in times of need. Often he burned through entire galaxies to bridge the channel, he was sure they were irrelevant anyhow. Though his magic remained strong, his visits to Thor were few. This was to be the last.

"Are you there?"

Pulling magic from places he ought not to, Loki gathered it into the form he once knew so well.

"I am here."

He smiled as he approached the bed.

"My, my, brother. The years have not been kind to you," he teased as Thor struggled to sit up. Pages and servants rushed to assist, Thor's own children wiping his brow and soothing him.

"I have been ruling a realm."

"I have been dead," Loki quirked an eyebrow. "I still find the time to comb my hair."

Thor chuckled, starting himself coughing. Loki sat on the bed, the others unaware of his presence.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, father. It won't hurt," the eldest of his children soothed. Thor looked at Loki for confirmation.

"It's like your own personal Ragnorak," he answered with wide eyes only to see Thor look panic stricken. "I was just joking," he added. "I am sure it will be painless and peaceful."

"I have missed you all so much. First mother...then I lost you."

"I know."

"Now Jane," he looked at the ceiling and the sight of his sorrow was painful.

"Life is a lot lonelier than death," Loki said calmly. He could see the glam lifting from his brother.

"Did it hurt- when-"

"When I was run through with a spike? I've had worse."

"Of course. I forgot, I am sorry."

Loki nodded before hopping up onto the bed. He had to step over the hands that fussed over his brother.

"Are you ready to go?"

"I am ready."

Loki reached out a hand for Thor to take and began casting the magic that would save him from any pain.

"Yes, father. Can you see the light?"

Loki looked down at the nephew he had never met.

"They're so like you," he said dryly. "Always so dramatic." He felt Thor grasp his hand then and he pulled them through the aether to the realm of nothing.


	27. Chapter 27

The pages you have read thus far have been the acquired writings of Queen Jane, the stories recounted by Huginn and Munnin to shed the light of truth in the dark times that Asgard faced. Upon their collection, the King vowed that they would be held in private conduct to protect the dignity of those named however as with all private things, the story became folklore and thus became legend.

Many tales were told of Loki in many lands, some good and some awful. It was this that led the writings to be open for public knowledge so that all would know of the true nature of the trickster god. Loki became an example to all that envy, greed and remorse are not necessarily in our nature but can find a way even to the most pure of hearts. The tale gave hope to many that when faced with the greatest oppression, loneliness and rejection, we can remain true to ourselves and to those who love us.

King Thor ruled well and sought remorse everyday for his actions towards his brother. He waited anxiously for the rare times he could hear his brother's voice, never knowing when the gap would extend too far and he would never hear it again. Loki forgave him as he did Loki, though Thor always suspected Loki never truly forgave himself. As Loki did Thor.

Upon the death of Queen Jane, Loki divested half of his magic to ensure her place by Thor's side for eternity. Mortals are not permitted in such places and so Loki knew he would only have sufficient magic for one more visit, perhaps two. This is the story that no one shall ever know, save for you and I.

It was not long after her passing that Thor knew his reign was ending. He only hoped that he would find Loki in the Unknown. Lokabrenna, he was sure, would guide him. The Kingdom mourned heavily for their lost King and Queen, celebrating the coronation of their children. All three of whom ruled together equally under new law and who continue the legacy.

There is little else to be said, dear reader, besides that they are happy. Things are as they should be where mortals hold place beside the gods and the realm is at peace. Thor joined Loki and his beloved wife in the constellations and if ever in the deepest dark of night you wonder where they are; just look for the brightest star that casts the longest shadow. It is Lokabrenna and it will guide you from the darkness.


	28. Chapter 28

Author's note:

I only wish to say thank you for being with me in this story. It started as a single chapter and formed from chaos. I could never have imagined the kind words, wonderful reviews and readership for the stories in my head.

Thank you to all those who follow my work and who leave reviews, the encouragement is humbly appreciated. I hope my writing does justice to the characters you love and that you will forgive me for tormenting them.

I hope you find something in this work that is meaningful and I wish you the very best. I would be honoured if you choose to follow, favourite, comment or review. I love receiving mail so please message me anytime you like. Share this story with friends if you like it and if you didn't like it then I apologise for dragging you through 27 levels of Helheim.

As ever, I am faithfully yours. Take care friends,

Venus


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